Office Hours
by jacejosujura
Summary: "She's trouble," the dean said. Liliana had heard that all of her life. She'd been sent to the understudy to be "dealt with," as the dean put it. He was too good, he'd always heard. He had to stop trying to make a living and make a life. And maybe dealing with "trouble," was the way that Jace Beleren could do that. (Jaciana/Kosu/Chosen/Masakudo and Dack/Chandra/Tamiyo)
1. Prologue: Have a Little Class

**A/N:** **Welcome to _Office Hours!_ Now that LMDE is finished, it's time to start on the newest conquest. I hope you guys have been enjoying _A Safe Place_ and _The Tear._**

 ** _-Haley_**

* * *

 _Furman University, Greenville, South Carolina_

Liliana pulled a sigh through her pursed lips. The third time in the miserable four weeks she'd been in college, she'd been in this man's office. Doctor Locy. He was a miserable old man who looked a lot like the Riddler from DC Comics. _He must not like Russian girls, or he thinks I'm too pretty, or he doesn't like that Karen and I have long since done all the reading on his list._ He only ever picked on them, mostly her, though. Her grades were mediocre even though she knew her papers were better than those around her. The man just plain did not like her, not that she'd ever given him a reason. Sure, she and Karen talked in class, but so did everyone else. She sat there, seething. Disruptive? Absolutely not. She was bringing up a valid point about the reading and he didn't like it. He only taught the class to hear himself speak, and Liliana hated teachers like that. She guessed that it must have been obvious, hence why she was sitting here. _Again._

* * *

A few doors away, the man that Liliana was mentally berating and complaining about showed his true colors. Not that he hadn't been to her, already. He'd always been a nasty sort of man, he talked down to his secretary and his understudy. The latter of those two, Jace Beleren, sat in his own office, looking over the papers that Locy himself had already graded; _rather harshly,_ Jace thought to himself. His mind was just finishing up the thought when his superior walked in.

"You're taking this section of 101. IT's time you started teaching," he said, condescendingly.

Jace had spent most of the summer begging to take one or two sections of the freshman level course, all to no avail. He tried to fake a smile and look happy, but he knew there had to be more to it than what he was giving away. With him, there always was.

"I don't like this section," he continued. "They're all dumb. And there's a girl in my office. Take her to yours. She's disruptive and disrespectful, and smart-aleck. Deal with her. She's your problem now." He finished.

Jace was taken aback. All of those weeks of begging that that came to naught- only to give him one day to prepare for the course and he only let Jace have it because he thought that they were below him, and now the kids were Jace's problem? Jace fought the urge to roll his eyes and anger in his throat. What kind of educator was this man, anyways? He had taught elementary school? Woe betide those children.

"Yes sir," Jace said, pursing his lips, grabbing his bag, and walking out.

Jace walked into Locy's office and nodded at the girl who was sitting there. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what he got. She was pale, had bright green eyes and get black hair that curled all the way down her back. She was wearing dark wash skinny jeans and a black crop-top that had silver, glitter sugar skulls and black Converse. Jace's first thought wasn't one he'd had about the hundreds of college girls that had crossed his desk in the five years he'd been here, studying for his Master's and now his Doctoral degree.

 _She's fucking hot,_ Jace thought to himself. But he shook the thought.

"Come with me," he said, trying to sound stern.

 _His voice,_ Liliana thought. It was deep and he just sounded intelligent. She turned the end of her hair and twirled it in her fingers and met her eyes with his, he cleared his throat.

"Are you the dean of _discipline,_ or something," Liliana said, adding the just a hint of temptation to her voice. "Seeing as how it's my third time in hear in the past month," she said, her voice breathy.

Jace cleared his throat again and pulled a breath though his teeth. He didn't know if she knew what she was doing to him, but she couldn't figure it out; she just seemed like the type that would exploit that to get as much as she could out of him. If he was taking this section, he had to push the thoughts of the freshman girl to the back of his head. Besides, he was ten years her senior anyways.

"No, sadly, I'm just Locy's lackey, and I've been sent to deal with you," Jace said.

"Deal with me," she chuckled and bit into her bottom lip. "I might like that," she said again, breathy and giggly.

"Just follow me," Jace said, still trying to sound stern. He _had_ to prove to Locy and the administration that he could take a course load and still work on his dissertation. He needed this job more than he liked to admit, if he could pick up a few classes along with his job as Residence Director over one of the dorms- then he could easily do whatever he wanted without much worry.

The walk back to his office was silent; not much to write home about, unless you count the fact that- he didn't even know her name, dropped her books after tripping famously over her shoelaces. They made it to the office and Liliana promptly plopped down on the cushy chair across from him. She then continued to prop her feet right onto Jace's desk.

"You should totally do this for me," she laughed. "I'm bad at it."

"Get your feet off of my desk," Jace said, again trying to sound authoritative. But he just thought she was cute.

'Pleaseeeeeeeee?" she continued, "What's your name, anyways?"

"Professor Beleren," Jace said, putting his fingers on his chin and motioning for her to move her feet.

"No, what's your _name,"_ Liliana said. She was enjoying playing with him. "Your first name," she said.

"Professor," Jace said, again, fighting back a laugh.

"Okay, _professor,_ just how exactly do you intend to _deal_ with me?"

"He says you're disruptive and disrespectful and a smart aleck," Jace says. "I want to hear your side of the story."

"He doesn't like me- or anyone in the section particularly. But especially me. I guess bringing up valid points about the reading is considered disruptive and disrespectful," Liliana said, twirling her hair around her finger. "And I can be a bit of a smart ass when I want to be, I guess," she said, her voice still exhibiting that breathy quality. Jace pulled a long drag of air through his nose again.

"What's your name?" Jace asked. He hadn't had time to even look at the roster.

"Miss Vess," Liliana laughed, matching Jace tit for tat.

"Your _first name,"_ Jace said, exasperated.

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." She was really interested into what his name was. She hadn't found a single member of faculty she liked or really any students besides Karen, and she didn't even count. But him.. he was intriguing.

"Jace. My name is Jace. What's your first name?"

"Liliana," she said. "Liliana Vess."

"Well, Miss Vess, you need this course," and as he calmly pulled her file "A lot more English courses, because that's your major, and he's the dean. So as you said, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. You need this course. And I'm your advisor. So don't make an enemy out of me. I've read your thesis paper on Hamlet. It was good and it did have a lot of valid points. You have to be smart to even get in here! So let your attitude reflect your capabilities! You're a bright and beautiful girl. Don't stay in trouble," Jace finished.

 _Fuck,_ he thought. Had he said too much? He probably had. He was mentally kicking himself for that second adjective, but it had just jumped out of his mouth before he could say anything else. However, Liliana's mouth curled into a smile and her green eyes lit up.

"I guess you could scratch my back anytime, cutie," she winked, and without another word, Liliana Vess got up and left his office, hips swaying, the sun hitting the dimples on her back through his window pane.

 _Fuck,_ he thought again. This is going to be a long semester.

* * *

"KARENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Liliana exclaimed as she walked through the door of her dorm, flopping dramatically onto her roommate's lap.


	2. Best Practices

_Please go check out Shelter from the Storm And It's Not Rocket Science by my bestie! They are amazing works and you will love them if you like Jaciana! ASP is on the block next, thank y_ _ou guys for reading._

* * *

Jace was feeling sick already, but he couldn't miss his first day. The course started at twelve thirty, but of course he'd been up all night, finalizing the syllabus, making a rules and procedures and policies slideshow, and printing off something for them to sign regarding each. What bothered Jace the most is that he couldn't seem to shake the image of the black haired girl from his mind. Something about her smile just imprinted on his mind. He didn't know how he was going to focus, and that was was making him so sick. Jace was the picture of a perfect student- driven, focused, brilliant. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't focus that was the problem. He didn't like it, but he didn't want the images of her to leave, either. The curling feeling he felt down in his belly was a sensation he hadn't had such a long time. He was warm all over at the thought of her, but he tried- and failed to shake it off.

He was looking through his presentation for the class, desperately thumbing through Pinterest and TeachersPayTeachers for a closure, when out of no where, it came to him. It came to him like the vivid pictures of Liliana Vess in his mind's eye. It made sense to end it all on a writing prompt, it's was an English class, but Jace didn't know if he assigned it as homework if he'd be able to wait for the response. _Responses,_ he chided himself.

" _What do I want my teacher to know about me? Discuss. Three Paragraphs."_

"Karen! Karen come on!" Liliana said, almost giddy with excitement. Karen, however was anything but. She wasn't fan of English, her mind was much more math and science oriented, which is why she had declared marketing to Liliana's English when it came time to pick majors. She didn't really want to work in the stock market but she was she would find a place somewhere within Rocket Cosmetics; even without the degree. Karen just didn't want to live at home with Giovanni and Silver anymore; she wanted to get away, and so did Lili. They applied at Furman as a joke, but they both got in and decided it was just far enough from their home in the rural town of Five Forks for them to be able to get away but still be able to go home if and when they wanted to. They were both close to their fathers and brothers, Liliana and Josu had even lived together for while when she was smaller, after the death of her mother. Silver had always taken care of Karen throughout school as well; they were all a close knit family, but the girls needed to breathe. Giovanni and Nicolai were happy for them; neither one of the boys had decided to pursue school, so they were glad that their daughters had decided to.

"I am not a fan of this class regardless of how 'hot' the new instructor might be, Liliana, I am not interested in men that are old enough to be my dad." Karen said, exasperated.

"He wasn't even that old, but Karen come on, you have to at least give this guy a chance so we can gush about how hot he is," Liliana said.

"You thought Silver was hot," Karen said, wrinkling her nose. "You have no taste."

"He's your brother," Liliana grumbled. "That's different. And didn't you think Su was hot when you were little?"

"That is completely irrelevant," Karen griped at her best friend. "The point is, why gush over a guy that you know doesn't want anything to do with you, that it would be completely unethical to even have a relationship with," Karen said.

"Maybe I'm interested in more than just my MRS degree, Karen," Liliana said, her voice haughty. "Maybe I'm interested in him as a professor," Liliana said, keeping a straight as possible face.

"Yeah, all you said was OHMYGODKARENHESHOTASFUCKTHISGUYTAKINGOVEROURCLASSOHMYGOD."

"Yeah well, he's cute, shut up. Remember that idiotic kid with the blonde hair with the fucking _purple_ undertones we saw in the Caf earlier? The one who looked to be oh, about ten, the one you were gushing over?"

"Shut it, Liliana, he was hot, okay? And he kept looking over at you and I want to hit you for it," Karen said, still salty.

"Homeboy was not looking at me, Karen," Liliana said, an almost relieved look on her face. "Thank Arceus," she finished.

"Excuse you," Karen said, just as she took her seat at the back of the room. Liliana sat next to her, straightening out her purple-and-gold blouse, actually taking out a notebook and getting ready to do something.

"I didn't know you owned those," Karen snorted.

"I will end your life," Liliana snarled, a smile on her face. If she and Karen weren't jerks to each other, they were probably sick. No, they were definitely sick.

Jace looked around the back of the classroom before he stepped in. _Don't trip,_ he breathed. She was indeed there, sitting with a girl that had hair that had obviously been dyed some sky blue color. Jace couldn't help but think of the rebellious phase his brother had to be going through to do something of that nature. Jace tilted his head, wondering if Liliana was finding a way to lash out through school. He pushed the thought to the back of his head, thinking that their talk earlier could have been enough. He walked down the stairs, laptop and tablet in hand; smiling at the blackhaired girl in the back row.

"Hi, Professor Beleren," Liliana said, smiling at him. "How has your day been," she smiled at the man.

"Just fine, Miss Vess, how about yourself? I like your zen doodles at the corner of the page, just don't draw in class," Jace smiled at her.

Liliana was impressed. Not many people even knew what zen doodling was. Karen told Liliana she needed to major in graphic design; but she didn't want her passion to become a job. Even though she would often take commissions from friends, that was the extent of it. She didn't mind doing it, she just wanted a degree in something that she liked, but not the one thing that she was passionate about. She didn't want the passion art gave her robbed from her.

"Yes, sir," Liliana said with a smile. Jace got warm under the collar. All of his students called him sir. This was the deep south. That was how students addressed their teachers. All of them.

Jace called the class to order. He really hoped that the meme presentation that he used wasn't outdated, but at least it would be a way to touch base with them with something they had seen before other than just a long, drawn out syllabus.

"Look, I know you guys can read, so I'm going to make this short and simple. Print off your syllabus, read it, put it in a tabbed binder. In the syllabus, you'll see that you need one of these to bring to class every single day. You'll need a tab for the following: prompted writings, Beleren bits, rough drafts and final drafts of turned in essays. Every formal essay you write will be preceded by a an outline that will count as a quiz grade, and we will have a quiz every Friday on that week's Beleren's bits as well as any required reading you have to do."

Karen raised her hand. Beleren bits? It sounded like he was talking about his junk.

"What are Beleren Bits?" Karen sniggered.

"Grammar Rules. Syntax, sentence structures, rules for writing and reading. This is English 101. You'll need them for the rest of your college career. That's the basic structure of the class. You'll have a weekly prompt, unless you have an essay due that week; in which case it will be rough and final drafts due. You'll have four major essays and then your research paper at the end of the semester. I also threw out everything that he graded. It's not fair, and I would have graded them much easier."

The entire class had let out a sigh of relief at this; twelve of them had been failing. The highest grade was a an 76, and Jace didn't think that was fair. All of them, including him, needed a clean slate. Those averages weren't fair to him either.

"I don't have a lot of rules, guys. The only few that I have are these: Come in prepared, or you're going to have a bad time. This means the binder, pencil, and homework. You have until the end of the day that it is due to get it to my office. Don't talk while I'm talking or while anyone else is talking. We will discuss a lot in this class and you all will be respectful of each other's opinions or I will ask you to leave. If you have a question, ask. If you don't want to ask in front of people, I'm usually here ten minutes early and I stay ten or so minutes afterwards. I don't care about laptops and tablets but keep your cell phones put up or I will ask you to leave. I'm excited to get started. I know that I've talked through pretty much the whole class period but it won't usually be like this." Jace said.

Liliana was fascinated by the way his lips moved and the way his voice sounded, but somehow got most of the words out. When she and Karen went shopping for this later, she was sure all she was going to do was blather.

"Remember that even this is 101, and probably the first college course you all have ever taken, I still expect all of you to act, read, and write like adults. If you need help, my door is always open. I'm going to leave you with your first assignment, though." Jace cleared his throat and took a drink of water from his bottle. "It's a writing prompt so put it behind that tab. Write the prompt at the top and then skip a line and begin. I'm grading this for content but I'm going to mark syntax and grammar errors. Three paragraphs. The prompt is: What do I want my teacher to know about me? If I could tell my teacher one thing, what would it be?" He totally just added in the last part after catching a glimpse of Liliana's sly smile. You have ten minutes- use it wisely.

* * *

Liliana slipped on her favorite dark wash jeans and black sequined tanktop and got ready to walk, arm in arm like always, with Karen to the commons of the dorms to go to one of the events that were being held. Both of their fathers insisted on them doing things like this, to get the full college experience, etcetera, etcetera. So they'd agreed to go, only because they had to have something to talk about this weekend at their family dinner. It was rootbeer floats and icecream, and if there was one thing that the VossVess girls loved, it was food. So they decided to go. Liliana could tell Karen was on the hunt, her post Grimsley dry spell was really starting to get to her, and she was hoping that the boy with the purple hair would be here. Liliana really didn't know if she was over Silver yet exactly, but she knew that she couldn't shake the visions of her professor from her head, though she knew that it was somewhere on the cusp of impossible and are-you-out-of-your-fucking-mind. But Liliana liked ice cream. Especially chocolate and strawberry mixed together. So she decided to go. There was a rumor there was going to be bonfires and smores too, so Liliana put her chin up, smile on, and accompanied her best friend.

There indeed was lots and lots of food, which made Liliana happy in her heart. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. It was her brother, checking up on her as usual. There was a picture of her newly born niece, Nova. Liliana smiled into her phone and showed Karen, who looked like she'd just gotten the same thing. They both agreed that the best thing about the weekend was getting to see her. Josu sent her pictures every single day so she didn't feel like she was missing as much.

Liliana parked herself on one of the cushy chairs and stared at a blank sketchpad. Nothing was coming to her and she was tired of zen rectangles, triangles, octogons, all of it. She placed a pencil to paper and started drawing the very thing that kept haunting her.

"LILIANA! Don't! You get so out of it when you get that thing out. we are supposed to be having fun?!" Karen moaned at her best friend.

"What on earth do you want to do, Karen? LOOK! LOOK who it is?!"

"I swear Liliana, if it's that professor, he might be stalking you," Karen said, very seriously.

"He works here just like we live here, plus that was one of the pluses of coming here, Karen, _community,"_ Liliana said, sarcasm dripping from the last word.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But you know we could be having so much more fun downtown right now."

"Yeah. You figured out how to disable the tracker Gio put on your phone yet? Because you know it's gotta be there," Liliana said, very seriously.

Their fathers didn't play around when it came to their safety. Usually, since they were accompanied by either Silver or Josu and Kaalia, it wasn't a big deal, but now that they were just two eighteen year old girls, both Giovanni and Nicolai worried for them.

"No," Karen grumbled at herself. She excused herself to go get drinks and Liliana resigned herself to her sketchbook again, knowing how Karen could get sidetracked. The steady scratching of a pencil against paper was one of the most calming noises to Liliana, as she sat, intent on her work. She couldn't get the very distinct ferocity of his eyes right- there was a passion there that Liliana couldn't place, and maybe it's because she didn't know what caused it- but she'd never been more curious in her life. What could it be that got him so….happy? No. That wasn't the right adjective. Worked up? She didn't know. She breathed in and out again, wondering where Karen had went. Ten minutes, and nothing. Liliana's face colored a little in frustration, she actually was thirsty and it was really hot in South Carolina in late August. She felt a slight tap on her shoulder, a diatribe ready for her newly blue-haired best friend.

"Took you fucking-" Liliana started as she turned around. But it wasn't karen at all. It was Professor Beleren.

"Language," he laughed at her. "Want a coke?" Jace said.

"Please," she said, trying not to reveal that it was _his_ eyes that she had been drawing. Calmly, she placed the sketchpad to her side and gestured to Karen's vacated spot. Jace popped open the glass bottle and handed it to her with a smile.

He'd noticed Karen had been gone and Liliana looking around for her about once every minute for a good ten minutes before he decided to go sit with her. It was his job as residence director to get to know the students and everyone else seemed engaged in conversation. He'd glanced around and seen Karen with Will, his younger brother, with an enthralled look on her face. Will could tell stories like no one else could, and it was then he realize that Liliana would be alone for quite a while. He pointedly ignored his little brother- this would be something that would go straight back to their mother, he knew, if he saw them.

"How'd you know glass bottles were my favorite," Liliana laughed, trying not to blush at him.

"Just a lucky guess, I guess." He smiled at her.

Liliana reached into her bag and pulled out the few pieces of the lemon and butter cake she had made from her mother's recipe last night and handed one to Jace.

"Are you trying to earn literal brownie points?" He couldn't stop smiling.

"No, I'm not," she laughed. "We scratch each other's backs, remember? What are you doing here?"

"I'm the residence director over these four dorms," Jace said. "It was my event. I'm just making the rounds."

"Oh, am I not interesting enough for you to just talk to? Karen thinks you're stalking me." Liliana said, her voice breathier than she would like it to be.

"I am fairly certain my brother _is_ stalking her," Jace said.

"That's not wise," Liliana laughed. "She likes him, though."

" _Why,"_ Jace said, incredulous, but with a laugh. Will deserved someone who could see him for who he was, and if it took two strange hair colors to do it, then Jace would smile while telling Rose, too.

* * *

She'd never had a man look at her like this before. The light bounced off his eyes and straight back into hers like a prism- Grimsley had never looked at her like that, nor any of her other boyfriends, his voice was enthralling, she could just listen to him talk. She'd long since forgotten about the melting rootbeer float in her hand as she listened to Will spin a story about how life would be different if the Norse, Greek, Roman and Egyptian gods could compete against one another for devotion. Karen could care less about any of it, but he made it seem like it could happen, like maybe it was happening right then. When he started to walk away from the drink table amidst stares from those around them, Karen couldn't help but follow him. _Liliana had her sketchpad, which made her happy anyways, she thought._ So she and Will walked.

Around and around they walked and he talked and she just listened. Will needed that, really. Chandra, his sister was loud and Jace just spoke through writing, so he rarely had someone to listen to him. But her eyes were so enthused- and he had never had that, ever. He'd even had trouble making friends. A lot of that had changed with Dack, though. He, Jace, and Dack often were like three peas in a pod. And Dack made their sister happy instead of making her feel like a freak; and that was okay with Will.

Will and Karen continued to make their rounds, just listening, talking. Karen couldn't help herself- she grabbed his hand. She wanted to know what it felt like; and his stomach jumped into his throat when she did, but he couldn't bring himself to let go, either. Karen wasn't going to let him get away. She'd tried and tried and tried to make Grim see her worth but she couldn't; but she could tell from his eyes that he could see her- not just her body. He'd not once made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin; she had to let him know she was interested after the two weeks of sideways glances in the dining hall. They stopped shortly behind where Karen had left, and when Karen saw what she did, her only thought was about fifty red exclamation points.

* * *

"Karen needs someone like him to calm her ass down," Liliana said to Jace.

"He needs someone to pull his head out of lala land so they might be good for each other, then," Jace sighed.

"You have cake on your face," Jace said to Liliiana, and brushed it off with his free hand. Liliana felt her stomach jolt, she gripped the coke bottle harder at his touch. Jace just, _her skin is so soft,_ he thought. _You can't touch students,_ he then said to himself.

Liliana took her forefinger and put it right on Jace's nose. There was nothing wrong with her being playful, making a friend.

* * *

" _Cutie,"_ She laughed. "I like you. I think it's going to be a great semester. _Professor."_

"THAT CREEP!" Karen very nearly shouted. She saw Jace's hand come up to brush her face, not knowing that she had something on it.

"Heh," Will laughed under his breath. "Look at Jace."

"You know him?!" Karen said, eyes wide. "You're not in our class," Karen said, a slight pout to her voice.

"He's my older brother," Will laughed, the sound was literally the most beautiful thing Karen had ever heard.

"Well tell your older brother he's a lecherous nasty," Karen scoffed, "She's only eighteen. How old his he? Thirty-five?"

"He's twenty-nine," Will couldn't stop laughing. "He doesn't even talk to girls, much less his students," he said through breaths of laughter.

"This is like the least funny thing," Karen said, but she didn't want him to stop laughing. And if calling him out on his actions did that, she would, gladly. She would have, anyways. She squeezed his hand.

"Creep, creep, creep!" She said again, causing Will to tear up in a fit of the giggles. "Should I be scared?"

Will had to sit down, so much laughter had overtaken him.

Jace heard Will laughing, too. And even if it was at his expense, he was glad to hear it. And even though Karen had a point, he couldn't tear himself away from the Russian butter cake and the coke with the the girl that had already began to haunt him. Liliana couldn't stop smiling either, the touch had secured that for the night. She didn't want to get up. So she didn't.

Karen and Will decided to walk back up to the dorm, Will still laughing. When they got to the door, she took his phone and snapped a selfie; memoing it with her number.

"He likes her, I think," Will said.

 _I know,_ Karen thought. _And it's dangerous._ But she kept it to herself. Besides, the butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach made it hard to speak. She didn't know what to do for the first time in her life; so she just kissed him on the cheek, murmured "text me," and walked into her dorm. Karen Voss peeked out the window, her best friend still sitting down there with Professor Beleren- Jace- Will had called him. She was scared, for the first time. Because Lili couldn't get hurt.

Her phone lit up, Will's face brightening the screen. She flopped down onto her bed, fright replaced with anticipation as she shut the blinds, leaving them to their own devices. Worry would overtake her that night, but right now, Karen just let herself feel the happiness bubbling up inside her.

Because Liliana Vess felt the same thing. A happy balloon that felt like it could never be quashed. And Jace Beleren's fears were being erased with every word that she spoke.

Tonight, smiles overtook frowns and laughter overtook sadness.

 _Que será, será._

 _Whatever will be, will be._


	3. Prompted

Liliana Vess sat at the faux maple desk in her dorm room, chewing on the tip of the pen her daddy had given her before she came here, Nicolai knew that pens, pencils, sketchbooks, and notebooks were the closest thing his daugher harbored to an addiction, and for that, he was thankful. Given Liliana's history, it could be far worse. But it wasn't, thanks to the support that Josu had given her and the support she had through her "dads," as she called them.

She was completely flustered, an unusual feeling for her, as she had successfully bullshitted her way through International Baccalaureate English with ease. This, however, this—was difficult. She'd written thesis paper after thesis paper and critique after critique, but here she was, struggling with a three sentence prompt. She felt as if she had something more to say than this arbitrary prompt could deliver, and that this was the best and probably the only vehicle she had to talk to him now without fear of being overheard by someone that she didn't want to hear her sentiments. She knew no one—not even Karen—would see this. It would be between her and Professor Beleren.

To Lili, he seemed hell-bent on everything but their formal research papers being handwritten. He said he wanted to know them all as humans, not numbers on a screen. So Liliana heaved a sigh through her nose and did the only thing that had ever felt natural to her. She placed her pen to a sheet of paper.

 _You obviously collect your papers in alphabetical order because you are type A, so type A it hurts. (Hence the lovely notebooks,) I bet you're INFP, too. So, I'm sure you're quite tired of seeing "I want my teacher to know," or "I want Professor Beleren to know," so I'm going to phrase this as differently as I possibly can._

 _You, sir, are handsome and it is distracting. Never in my life have I thought someone's eyes could stare down into my soul until the other night. But then, when you started to speak, your words melted like honey off of of your tongue and into my ears, much like my mother's cake melted in your mouth. Your smile is infectious. It hasn't left my mind since the other night. I really wonder what makes or made you smile like that—because whatever it is, I want a part of it too. Another human being hasn't affected me so wholly with a single meeting since, well, never. The only people who could make me crack a smile with just a smile themselves are my brother and my father. And now, you._

 _You're really intent on all of us learning and that is admirable. I haven't seen such passion from a teacher since the ninth grade. I was starting to think the spark that used to possess those that delivered our education was snuffed out, until you. Until you stumped me with this prompt. It is fifteen minutes until it is due and I am verbal vomiting all over this paper._

 _You seem to really care for your brother. That is something I, myself, can admire. Did you care for him at a young age? I can sort of see it in your nature. Fatherly, but not fatherly enough to not laugh if he trips down some stairs. Though, could you please tell him to get out of my dorm at a respectable hour so I can sleep?_

 _Really, all that I wanted you to know is that I think it's going to be a great semester with you at the helm. You say you want to know us? Well, this is my invitation. I'm letting you in, professor. The door is open._

 _But are you going to cross the threshold?_

* * *

Jace really was glad he'd thought of a box so he didn't have to carry all the binders up two flights of stairs back to his office. He was going to try to get them all read and marked by next class; it wasn't like he had anything else in the world to do. Every fiber of him wanted to grab Liliana's and read it first, but he decided that he would do it the way he always had when he'd graded the stuff Locy didn't want to. Alphabetical order.

He thumbed through the papers that he'd just collected from the class, the prompt he'd assigned last time. He had been thinking about what the various responses could and would be, knowing that much of it would be arbitrary things, just like he'd written in college. Part of the purpose of the prompts was to see how deeply he could get them to think about themselves and how they learned. That would be the key to being a successful teacher, having a successful semester.

He had once penned an essay titled _Do You Know Enough About Me to Teach Me?_ outlining his philosophy on education and why it had to be more than just a lecture. It sat, in his underwear drawer, ready to be mailed into the board. It was far more than any essay he'd ever written. It haunted him. It was his dissertation, though he didn't think it was ready or it would ever be. But right now, that was a distraction. He settled himself with a can of Coke and some chicken tenders from JPeters, and got to reading.

Most of them were just as he thought they would be, about as deep as your average rain puddle on the streets of downtown Greenville. They just said, both literally and not so literally that these students didn't have a clue how to write—so Jace jotted that down underneath the "Goals," section of the composition book he'd gotten for this course.

He then read and read until there were only two notebooks left. He pulled out the purple one, one with gold "runes," obviously hand sketched on the outside with a paint pen. He ran his finger over the mesmerizing pattern, and then opened it to the page he'd asked them to label with their information. She had expertly calligraphed _Liliana Kristen Vess_ onto it, along with the class number and section letter. He then, again, traced over it with his fingers. The binder was tabbed out perfectly, just as he'd asked. He flipped over to her essay.

His eyes darted over her paper without really reading it, at first, just skimming—no one's "verbal vomit" should look that much like calligraphy. The one thing he'd noticed about her was that her talents seemed to be anything that allowed to put her pen to paper and create freedom, whether it was a picture of whatever was sitting in front of her, or spinning words on a piece of paper.

 _You're so type A, she says._ Jace pondered that for a moment and sighed that she was right, and that was why he was staring at twenty-six tabbed binders. INFP? Yeah. She was right about that too. He laughed. Was she that good at people, or had he made himself that obvious?

His breath caught in his chest, nothing could have prepared him for the next paragraph, or even the next sentence. Was this paper going to reenforce the things he had been feeling? He hadn't felt like this—not since the disastrous relationship in college. He started with her first paragraph, but didn't make halfway through before his thoughts stopped him in his tracks.

 _You, sir, are handsome and it is distracting. Never in my life have I thought someone's eyes could stare down into my soul until the other night. But then, when you started to speak, your words melted like honey off of of your tongue and into my ears, much like my mother's cake melted in your mouth. Your smile is infectious. It hasn't left my mind since the other night, and I really wonder what makes or made you smile like that_ — _because whatever it is, I want a part of it too._

Jace read it and reread it, trying to catch his breath. He wasn't the type that caused distraction; he was the exact opposite. He tried to meld into walls and stay there. That's why his dissertation was still sitting in his dresser: he didn't like to talk to his peers. It was much easier to get up in front of a bunch of freshman and speak to them like equals than to get in front of a board of his "peers" and speak.

 _Your smile is infectious._ He thought the same thing about her. Girls didn't smile around him. But it was like these words were speaking straight to what he needed—and that was the exact opposite of what he needed. She was young, a child, his student.

Your eyes seemed to stare down into my soul? That's how he felt, how he saw her, from the very first time she plopped in his office chair. His breath was uneven as he plowed forward into the essay. The butter cake was the second-most thought about thing when it came to the black-haired girl.

 _Another human being hasn't affected me so wholly with a single meeting since, well, never. The only people who could make me crack a smile with just a smile themselves are my brother and my father. And now, you._

He thought about that. He thought about the phrase "affected me so wholly" and what it meant. He couldn't seem to get her like she got him. She was an enigma, and Jace couldn't help but think about figuring her out.

Actually, he'd seen a good bit of his brother and Karen around campus the past few days, though they were never accompanied by the girl who penned the essay. Jace knew he shouldn't be looking for her period, but his mind did. He wanted to know where she was, what she was doing. And apparently, so did she. Jace didn't know how that made him feel. He felt the tendrils of attachment start to grip at him, and he knew it was wrong, every part of him did, but he wasn't stopping it. The warm feeling started to spread from his belly all the way out to his feet.

 _No, no, no,_ he thought. _No. No, no, no._

There was a nauseous feeling in his stomach. _Fuck,_ he thought.

 _You're really intent on all of us learning and that is admirable. I haven't seen such passion from a teacher since the ninth grade, and I was starting to thing the spark that used to possess those that delivered our education was snuffed out, until you. Until you stumped me with this prompt. It is fifteen minutes until it is due and I am verbal vomiting all over this paper._

 _Good,_ he wrote on her paper. _I'm here to challenge you. Just like you do me_ — _I admit it. I'll see about Will. Good job. Best paper in the class. Nothing like verbal vomit. Thank you for the compliment._

 _You're the one who sauntered into my door, aren't you, Lili?_

Jace capped the pen.

* * *

After a fitful night's sleep, Jace walked into his office around ten, early for his lecture. It was barely ten minutes before there was a knocking at the door.

"C'mon in," Jace said. He looked up from his work and was greeted by his gangly brother. "What time are you leaving Karen's room at night?" Jace said, still sleepy.

"You're not my father," Will grumbled. Neither of them were morning people.

"You're acting like I care about what you do." Jace did, but he didn't want to be overbearing on Will. He already resented their father and didn't want any ill-will between him and his brother. "You're distracting one of my students."

"Karen's fine," Will snubbed his brother's concerns. "She's _more_ than fine, actually.

Disgusted by what his brother was implying, he felt an upsurge of sympathy for Liliana, and it strengthened his resolve.

"You know what they say about assuming, right?" Jace said.

"Who else could you even be talking about, Jace?" Will raised his eyebrows.

Jace just smirked at his brother and Will's eyes widened in surprise.

"Apparently you've been keeping Liliana up at night and she told me to tell you to fuck off."

"Have you two been talking?" Will was floored.

"No, well—yes. It was in that prompt I gave them." Jace told him.

"She said that in her essay?" Will said, intently studying the iPhone in his hand.

"Yup, so fuck off, and I'm saying this as the AC," Jace smiled.

"You like her, don't you?" Will cut right to the chase.

Jace felt like he'd been slapped. But then that warm feeling started again. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips.

"I see that grin, slick. She'd be good for you."

"What? Why even—" Jace started, but Will cut him off.

"You didn't say no."

"William—"

"You can't lie to me, Jace. You do! You two sat and talked for three hours last week! What do you even talk about for three hours?"

"Remind me to tell Karen I feel sorry for her," Jace said, voice thick with snark.

"KK said she never shuts up about you, and she really always smiles when she's doing your work. She's three weeks ahead of your syllabus," Will said.

"You realize, that if even if I _hypothetically_ liked her, how unethical that would be, how prohibited it is?"

"That doesn't matter, Jace."

Just as Jace was prompting his rebuttal, if he could call it that, there was another sharp knock at the door, startling him and disrupting his argument. It had been nearly an hour. Will was starting to encroach on his lunch time. Which was probably what he wanted, he didn't want to eat the caf, he wanted to go out with Jace.

"Come on in," Jace said for the second time.

He was floored. He knew that Will and Karen had orchestrated this. They had to have.

"Hey, Lili. Hey, angel," Will said, just as he was getting up to kiss Karen on the cheek, trying to be smooth, but promptly falling on the boxes Jace had shoved under his desk.

Liliana snorted as Will fell into Karen, and Jace couldn't help but smile himself.

"Karen," Will said, knowing that he was being snubbed by his brother for his earlier behavior. "Let's go eat lunch." He looked around the room, locked eyes with Liliana and then turned to Karen. Liliana realized what had just happened. This was a "them" thing. She'd let Karen have this, but she would be sure to let her know that she shouldn't have drug her alone, especially since Karen had long since decided that she and Jace _shouldn't,_ and Liliana knew that, too, but she could help but feel what she did.

 _The heart wants what it wants,_ was always Nicolai's old diatribe, but would he say that even when he was staring down the table at a thirty-something? _NO,_ Liliana stopped the thought in her head. The couple smiled, William just a tiny bit smug, and exited the educator's office.

* * *

William grabbed onto Karen's hand and they walked the pristine campus back down to Furman's dining hall.

"Don't think I don't know what you did, Will," Karen said, kissing his cheek.

"What on earth are you talking about? We were going to meet for lunch, you and Liliana and I, and she chose to stay in Jace's office."

"You knew she would! You understand you're getting them into a bad situation? She's been hurt, _so badly,_ and it was at my hand, it was my fault. And I can't let it happen again.

"Jace won't hurt her, I promise. He's so kind, so gentle…" Will trailed off. His brother was his best friend, too. "And he deserves someone to make him smile. And have you listened to Liliana?"

"I-I know, I know, Will" Karen said, "But she has a terrible track record. Nobody sees her for her, and… Is Jace even capable of that? Is he going to _see_ her?"

"Jace is top down-"

"What the actual fuck does that mean?" Karen said. She didn't know if he was insulting her.

"He won't date anyone, no one, who doesn't challenge him. And that's just Jace Beleren," Will said, shrugging, filling his cup up with Dr. Pepper.

Karen shrugged, still worried about her best friend. She knew what Silver had done, the damage he had done, even if he hadn't meant to, even if they were still family. Nothing could tear them apart, but she didn't want to have to calm Liliana's tears.

"Do you trust me? Will said, reaching across the table, grabbing her hands in his.

"I- I-" Karen knew this was the moment that she had to make a choice. Did she let go of Grimsley and let the boy—man—in. "I want to. Will you s-show me how? I'm not very good at it," Karen finished lamely.

"KK? What on earth happened? Will said, placing his lips to hers.

"What _didn't?"_ She said, her broken voice barely above a whisper.

* * *

"Have a seat," Jace said, and Liliana thought his voice was more like a croon, his words doing more for her than what Silver could with his hands. Jace thought that he had absolutely no impulse control. Liliana took her usual seat, a smile on her face. Jace couldn't help but smile, too.

"Your writing skills are a thing to be praised—" The professor started, just as Liliana put her feet on his desk. Jace loved it. He loved her playfulness, but he tried to keep an air of professionalism.

Jace clenched his jaw, not in annoyance, but out of habit. Liliana's stomach leapt into her throat, That face shouldn't have incited such a reaction in her, but she didn't want it controlled. She wanted to let it burn her from the inside out. She wanted him to burn the taint that Silver gave her, Liliana wanted new memories burned into her head, that's why she had came here, to get away from the ashes that her past life was in. Though her life had been forged in fire, she wanted something new, she was aching for it.

Nothing, not one thing, could have prepared Liliana for Jace's next words. He tried to infuse them with his teacher voice, but it didn't come out like that. Even to the professor, it sounded oddly sexual.

" _What_ did I say about that?" he said, gesturing to her feet.

Liliana blushed and bit into her thumb and Jace fought the feeling, far more than just the warmth this time, this time it was pulling in his stomach, in his chest, everywhere…

He sighed and rolled his neck around, looking at his watch. It was lunch time, so he did what he hadn't in close to six years.

" _Can I get you something to eat?"_


	4. I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You

_A/N: 18+ for the chapter, please! I didn't write_ The Lesson of the Moth.

* * *

Liliana had the funniest expression for about half a second, before her shock and confusion changed to a polite but still sly smile. She bit down on her thumb and nodded at her professor.

"DO you buy your all your students lunch when they get ditched by their roommates?" Her grin changed from polite to mischievous in another half-a-second breath. Jace couldn't keep up. He didn't know if he even wanted to.

"You've set quite the precedent," Jace said, a sly smile crossing his lips, too.

"So I'm your first," Liliana laughed.

An unwilling picture of Sabrina Soto popped into his head- he'd long since been over her, they'd went their separate ways and hadn't spoken in nearly three years.

"Close to it, yeah." Jace let a grin flit across his face.

"Me too. This is the first time I've ever let a professor buy my lunch." She bit down onto her thumb again.

Jace knew what she was hinting at, that it was an attempt at innuendo, but he elected to ignore it, instead drawing the attention away from him and onto her. It's where he wanted it, anyways. Lili smiled. She knew he knew, but ever the gentleman, he decided to nod and change the subject. She was also fairly certain he didn't believe what she was trying to say, but no one ever, ever did.

"You should get your thumb out of your mouth- aren't you a grown lady?" Jace shot at her.

"HOw long have you been here, anyways," Liliana said, dodging the question, but wiping her thumb on her skirt regardless.

"Since my undergrad- so eighteen. I'm twenty-nine now."

"Eleven years. More than half my life," Liliana giggled.

"I know- you're still wet behind the ears," Jace said. _So why the fuck can't I get you out of my mind?_ He thought.

 _I'd like to be wet somewhere else,_ she thought, but banished it quickly.

Almost subconsciously, but very blatantly, and it painfully obvious to Liliana, Jace gave her a look of appraisal. Something he hadn't done since the break up with Sabrina nearly five years prior. He cocked his eyebrow and tilted his head up in what Lili knew to be silent approval. She winked, jolting him out of his unwilling yet oh-so-sexy trip to fantasyland, one where this relationship wasn't forbidden. When she did, she giggled, because his whole body jumped from the shock.

"How becoming of you, young lady," Jace jokingly chided her.

"Only in the street-" she shot back. He chuckled, trying not to let her know that she had caused a stir in the pit of his stomach as he got up to pay the young man for his reuben and Liliana's chicken caesar wrap.

She smiled and unwrapped a package as well, which contained lemon bars. She generally baked something every two days for her suite, and this was this weeks' treat.

"What's your favorite pastry?" Liliana queried.

"Raspberry danishes, why is it relevant?" he continued.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll visit more since Karey doesn't love me anymore."

"I'm not a very good friend." Jace stated, thinking of the falling out with Ral over Teysa, even though that hadn't really been his fault. He hadn't spoken to Lia, either. He'd been busy with school starting and she'd been busy with her new job and then Nova, who he needed to go see. Sure, there was Lucian, but he was a professor at Wofford and just as busy as Jace was. _Adulting,_ he thought. He had his siblings, Kallist, Will, and Chandra, but they didn't even come close to counting.

"Maybe I'm not looking for a friend," Liliana said, smirking again.

Jace choked on his food but recovered, he desperately wanted to ask her what her intentions were, but again, in the interest of keeping it professional, he refrained.

He broke off a piece of the lemon bar.

"Do we have a prompt today?" LIliana asked, curious.

"Nope," Jace said, his lips popping on the 'p' sound. "We're reading a poem and doing a response to that."

"What?" She'd probably read it already, to be honest.

"YOu'll find out soon enough," Jace said, reaching across his desk and brushing caesar dressing from her face.

"Unf…" Liliana didn't even mean to make a noise like that, but Jace's insides clenched. He felt his pants get tighter at the _sound,_ and that was fucking impossible. He didn't know anyone besides Sabrina that had been able to stir this sort of connection within him, and even she hadn't obliterated Jace's walls and self control with a couple of sentences. Jace looked over his desk and pined, pined for an alternate reality where this wasn't seven different ways of wrong. Liliana breathed in, sharply as Jace inhaled the lemon pastry. She smiled, happy that he liked it. His breath caught in his chest as his eyes raked over her form again, aching, sorely wishing for different circumstances.

* * *

"If I open up to you, you'll just run like everyone else," Karen sighed over the pasta she was picking on for her lunch.

"DO I look like I run?" Will said, trying to make light of the comment. He reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed it, trying to show her that he was there and that he was going to be there regardless; he didn't know what to do or say to make her feel comfortable. Will knew that she was a physical person period; the past few days of steamy makeout sessions in the parking lot of their dorms had said such.

"Make love with me first," Karen stated, matter of factly.

"Wait, what?" Will said, flabbergasted. Of course he'd thought about it. But It'd only been twoish weeks since they'd been together.

"I want to give you everything he took if you're not going to run from me; I want you to give me your whole self if you're not going to choose someone else."

"A-are you in love with me?"

"I'm in love with this, with us, with you, with the whole thing. And I know that it would help me cement it all…" Karen trailed off. "You probably think I'm easy." She sighed. "But that's not it at all."

"No, I think you're hurting and I think I could potentially hurt you worse." Will was still floored.

Of course he wanted her. No one made him feel like she did. No one ever had. Mom said that he would knew when he knew, and to trust his gut. Jace had said that from the beginning, he knew Sabrina wasn't it, but he tried to shape her into it, and it had ended more than disastrously. But Will, he knew. He knew that when he felt things, those feelings lasted. He'd never had a relationship- any type, that hadn't lasted. He put all of himself into his relationships, friendships, family, all of it. And he was staring at a broken girl- a broken girl that needed physical touch and love to feel together. And if he could give her that, if he could give her that whole feeling that she gave him, he would. He would do it today, tomorrow, every single day for the rest of his life.

"No, he hurt me, he nearly killed me, and I'm asking you to glue me back together, because you make me feel whole again- I won't regret it, not if you won't." Will sighed and continued. "I don't want to make you into something you aren't, Karen, that doesn't work, but this person that you are, I don't understand why you see nothing. I see everything. Everything I could have dreamed of if I'd known myself well enough to ask."

"I'm not a virgin," Karen stated, again.

"I don't care," Will shot back. "I am, though." He said, slightly sheepishly.

"I don't care," echoed him. "Are you willing to give me this? You can't get it back?"

"You gave me a chance. No one else ever has," Will stated. "I want you to have it." Karen looked haphazardly down at her watch. They had approximately an hour before she had to be in Jace's class. Liliana had no prayer of getting out of that office, even if she'd wanted to. She grabbed William's hand and he wrapped his around her waist, they headed back up to Lawton Hall, where they lived.

Will had been in here, of course. He'd laughed with Liliana and Karen, watched Liliana draw and Karen draw conclusions about her and his brother, but the atmosphere was something like electricity, now. Will was unsure of what to do. He didn't know anything about how to do this. He did know that Karen liked to be kissed roughly, but he didn't want to give that to her in this moment.

He gently pushed her flush to her bed, bracing her back and taking care that her head hit the pillow and not the wall. Their lips met, softly, slowly, like a burning, roaring flame. She felt all of the insecurity melt away, she had never felt like this with Grimsley. Her hands shook as she fumbled with the button up, she wasn't sure of herself at all, this was the most uncomfortable part. She'd never cared, before. Sex was sex. This, this wasn't sex… This was everything.

He gingerly cradled the back of her head and she brought her face to his, kissing him slowly and lovingly, the exact opposite of how she'd been kissed before. He breathed in her scent, she was intoxicating, everything about her was to him. He ran his hands up and down her sides, slowly, squeezing like he'd read in so many books, like he'd heard to do from Jace and Kallist. She bit her lip and moaned his name into his mouth, almost breathless. She wrapped her supple thighs around his hips, bringing him in closer. He began to fumble with his belt, clueless as to what happened _after_ he got his clothes off. She shrugged off the slinky, floral pants she'd been wearing and Will watched them fall to the floor in awestruck wonder. She raised her arms above her head and he slowly, surely let the lace top fall by the wayside as well. She slowly grazed her hand around his solid manhood as she unbuttoned the jeans, allowing herself a second to catch her breath before she wrapped her hand around him and moved.

 _The noise he made was the most primal thing she'd ever heard._

She felt herself grow wetter, her thighs soaked with herself. He was still squeezing her hip, peppering her neck with hot, slow kisses, but she was impatient, she took his hand and pushed it to the growing heat between her legs.

"Oh, god, oh god, Karen…" Will said, unsure, completely clueless. He gathered his wits and then moved his finger, feeling her; she was slick around him, so aroused and so very _needy._ She gasped and arched as he added a second, something Jace had told him to do, using his thumb to appease the needy bundle of nerves that he knew was the where he needed to be. Her hand was still wrapped tightly around him, moving, his own arousal making himself slick around her hand as well, moans and grunts punctuating the air.

" _Will, please,"_ she moaned against the quietness of the noontime dorm, " _don't stop, I'm going to…"_

Will didn't have to know what was coming next. He'd read it in books, he'd seen it in movies. He felt Karen's body clench around his fingers and her other hand grab at the hair that was near her neck where he'd made marks, _accidentally,_ of course. He'd apologize to her later. The control rested with her, he'd never wanted or needed anything like he needed her in this second. He cupped her face to his, kissing it softly, slowly. She thought for a second about taking him into her mouth, but she knew that there would be time for such things later, this wasn't about physical pleasure as much is was about mental love and being one with each other.

" _Please,"_ she said again, he could muster no words. " _I don't want to beg, but I will. Please, William Jeremiah,"_ Karen said, choking on her words. "Show me," she said. "Let me show you," she finished.

"I love you, nothing could change that, nothing will, nothing you say to me about him or the past or the present will change the future that we have," he stammered, placing crooked, sloppy kisses on her mouth again.

She wrapped her legs tighter around his hips, bringing him close to her. He was barely inches away from the throbbing heat of her center, but there was something so much more important.

"I love you, Karen Isabelle, thank you for giving me this," he said, sliding slowly into her and the groan became a near shout of her name, he felt the onslaught coming, literally, but he managed a thrust and then two, and she arched into him, not as fiercely as before, but her body responded to his as he flooded into her. The place where they were joined was soaked with him and her, and she crushed her to him, kissing him fiercely.

" _That was worth everything, you are everything, thank you,"_ Karen breathed as he rolled onto the other side of the bed.

" _You gave me everything he took."_

* * *

Karen rushed into Jace's class, very nearly late, hair still a mess but more satisfied with her life than she'd been in months. Jace barely cocked his eyebrow and nodded, he knew that something had happened between his brother and Karen; he knew that things had been happening anyways. Jace had a phone he used specifically for the AC job and gave out to students, Lili had made him aware that they'd kept her up more than once during the night. He sighed.

On the SMARTBoard, Jace placed a picture of a moth and a generic lightbulb. Liliana cocked her head in confusion, Jace had said that they were reading, and this was far from words on a screen, or a page.

As the class got seated, Jace straightened his tie and smiled as if nothing pleased him more than seeing them all there in front of him, ready and willing vessels for the knowledge he was about to bestow upon them. He cleared his throat and looked around again, handing Liliana a piece of paper. There was a poem on it. She knew the poem well, and she knew the message. There was a feeling building in the pit of her stomach that hadn't happened to her, ever before. She knew this poem and it's message about fear and beauty. Was she scared or was she beautiful, she asked herself. She looked around the classroom. She was the only one who got one- it didn't make sense to her, but she smiled at him. He nodded.

 _i was talking to a moth_

 _the other evening_

 _he was trying to break into_

 _an electric light bulb_

 _and fry himself on the wires_

 _why do you fellows_

 _pull this stunt i asked him_

 _because it is the conventional_

 _thing for moths or why_

 _if that had been an uncovered_

 _candle instead of an electric_

 _light bulb you would_

 _now be a small unsightly cinder_

 _have you no sense?_

"Miss Vess? Will you help me out?" Liliana straightened the paper and her thoughts. Did she have no sense? She stayed in that office when she knew that Josu and Nicolai would have told her to leave. She thought of him even when Karen threatened to put a "Jace Jar" in their room for when she mentioned him.

 _plenty of it he answered_

 _but at times we get tired_

 _of using it_

 _we get bored with the routine_

 _and crave beauty_

 _and excitement_

 _fire is beautiful_

 _and we know that if we get_

 _too close it will kill us_

 _but what does that matter_

 _it is better to be happy_

 _for a moment_

 _and be burned up with beauty_

 _than to live a long time_

 _and be bored all the while_

Jace breathed in. That's what his life was, honestly, boring. He wanted to provoke their attention, with beauty, but the only beauty he could see was in front of him, the knowledge that he was imparting upon them. And the smile, of course. Liliana Vess' beautiful, perfect smile.

 _I could be his flame,_ she thought. _I could be his warmth._ She smiled even wider, brighter. Jace noticed, too.

 _so we wad all our life up_

 _into one little roll_

 _and then we shoot the roll_

 _ **that is what life is for**_

 _ **it is better to be a part of beauty**_

 _ **for one instant and then cease to**_

 _ **exist than to exist forever**_

 _ **and never be a part of beauty**_

 _our attitude toward life_

 _is come easy go easy_

 _we are like human beings_

 _used to be before they became_

 _too civilized to enjoy themselves_

Jace didn't give her any time to collect herself, he just pressed her to read the next verse, to conclude the poem.

 _and before i could argue him_

 _out of his philosophy_

 _he went and immolated himself_

 _on a patent cigar lighter_

 _i do not agree with him_

 _myself i would rather have_

 _half the happiness and twice_

 _the longevity_

 _but at the same time i wish_

 _there was something i wanted_

 _as badly as he wanted to fry himself_

So, class, there are a couple questions that I pose you. What is important? Define the word importance without MIster Webster. What is want? Define want. Define beauty. And finally, respond to this. What do you want? Jace briefly met Liliana's eyes. They were so deep into thought that he could tell nothing from them, not that he wanted to. He wanted her thoughts on paper, articulated as he knew she was capable of.

Your conclusion will be thus: Give me one quote, either taken and cited or written yourself, summing up who you are, what beauty and want are to you. I want to know what you live by. Show me your convictions.

 _Class dismissed,_ the professor said.


	5. Truth Will Out

"You asked me to define beauty, Jace. You wanted to know what it meant to me," Liliana scratched on the paper. It should be a simple question, answered with an idiom that was over worn. Liliana took a deep breath, and looked at the disparagingly blank page before her.

" _Beauty is Nova's eyes when she laughs, beauty is the blush you don't say you have, beauty is the way your eyes crinkle and your smile forms. Beauty is pulling my brother's ponytail like I have since I was very small. Beauty is the fact that i'll always have my mother's eyes. Beauty is my father's chubby cheeks; the ones he gave me. Beauty is being part of a family that loves. Like many things, it's relative, but beauty has one constant. Beauty isn't fire or destruction, beauty is creation."_

Liliana capped the pen and shut the binder, loudly. She was unsure if she wanted to draw or work on something else. It seemed the few lines had sapped her of her creative energy. She need to work on the piece she had to play for musical theory, but right now she felt so out of touch that she didn't want to make the ten minute drive home. She missed Josu, she missed her dad and Kaalia and Nova. This week had been difficult, it was something she hadn't expected. Things usually weren't difficult for her. What made it worse was that Karen had fallen into something that seemed easy, and that was what Liliana craved more than anything. Her phone dinged, the sound seemed hard against the quiet night.

Silver. He wanted to see Liliana. Five years her senior, Josu's best friend, Karen's brother, and Liliana's worst decision to date.

 _Come home._

 _I am home, Silver. At least for now._

 _Still having a hard time Lili Belle? Miss me too much?_

 _Told Josu yet?_

 _Liliana…_

 _No, Silver. No. I refuse to be your secret anymore. You don't get to love me at night anymore. You don't get to do that!_

Liliana ignored the stabbing feeling that she got whenever Silver texted her, he was bad for her, she knew it, but she'd sworn to Karen, and more importantly, to herself, that she was starting over. She'd quit him if it was the last thing that she did. She put her phone on do not disturb, rolled over, and tried not to think. Her back hurt, but it wasn't bad enough to warrant anything other than a naproxen, maybe.

Her body was in complete revolt, demanding sleep, but she was unwilling to give it. Her phone vibrated, which meant someone was calling repeatedly. Angry at Silver, she turned over, ready to let him have it. But- it was her brother, and he was at the door of her dorm.

* * *

The stabbing pains in her back gone, she quickly rushed to the door and let him in. Josu, in every sense of the word, was Liliana's person, the person who got her when no one else did, her protector, her very best friend. They had the same infectious smile and the same long black hair, and when she saw his green eyes bear into her blue ones, it came crashing down how much she'd really missed her big brother.

He wrapped her in one of his bone crushing, hugs, one of those hugs that you thought had the power to glue you back together. He dwarfed her by almost a foot, even though she was tall for a girl, and she never felt safer in the world than when Josu was around.

"I'm here to take you to lunch, I haven't seen you and that's not what we do," Josu said, gruff. "Want to drive into downtown so we can grab something to eat?"

"Ooh, yes, this place is killing me, just let me grab my bag." Liliana turned back into her room, quickly threw her messy hair up into a bun, tossed her bag over her shoulder and went back to her brother. She put her head on his shoulder and smiled, even if nothing was okay in the world, everything was okay when she was with Su. Su had the power to make everything okay.

"Where's Nova?" Liliana inquired.

"She's with Lia, she's going to lunch with a friend too." Josu said.

"I didn't want to see them anyway," Liliana grumped to herself.

Josu smiled. He was so happy that Kaalia had found such a sister and a friend in Liliana, even though they had such large age difference. They had always adored each other.

Josu's phone vibrated and it was Lia, asking if they could meet for lunch. Josu hadn't seen Jace in a while either, so he told them it was okay.

"We're going to meet them for lunch, Lilibelle," Josu said. Liliana just shrugged. Most of Kaalia and Josu's friends were far away, so they were probably just in town for a bit. She rarely saw them anyways, so it would just be a meeting in passing. As they drove off campus and into Greenville, Liliana breathed in the familiar scent of Josu's car, which made her breathe easier. This was right. This was easy.

"How are your classes going? Is that teacher any better?" He inquired.

"He actually relinquished the class, we have a new professor now." Liliana smiled, and her cheeks pinked at the thought of Jace, but she hoped Su didn't notice.

Josu did, though. He watched Liliana like a hawk whenever they were together. Josu also knew that it would be right in Liliana's wheelhouse to fall for a wholly inappropriate man, one where there was a significant power imbalance. Josu breathed in sharply and vowed to put a stop to it if he could.

Su also knew how next to impossible that would be. Liliana didn't live with them anymore, she didn't live with their father anymore, she was essentially on her own, Josu, Kaalia and Nicolai too far to supervise her day to day holdings. He didn't think she'd ever learn. Silver had been to old for her, too tattooed, to promiscuous. But she'd fallen anyway. The only reason that Liliana didn't let things go farther was that Josu was quite literally always around. As much as he didn't like it, his best friend was scared of him- and that's why Silver didn't act on what he wanted.

Josu knew how men viewed his sister, a constant source of ire in his heart. She was more, she was so much more than what she was on the outside.

"Do you like him?" Josu pressed.

"Yes," Liliana said, scared that if she said anymore that she would reveal too much to him. JOsu just narrowed his eyes and parked outside Smoke on the Water. He walked around and opened Liliana's door, and when he did, Liliana's heart felt like it fell and leapt at the same time, a sensation that she was not familiar with, and she didn't know if she liked. Because there, standing next to Kaalia and holding her niece, was Jace Beleren.

Jace's heart skipped a beat when he saw her- _this was impossible._ Josu's sister was still young, a child! But here was the girl- the woman that had haunted nearly every waking thought that he had had for the past two weeks, standing next to a man that he loved and respected nearly above all others.

" _Josu's sister is still a kid isn't she?"_ Jace hissed at Lia before they got too close.

"Not anymore-Why?" Kaalia looked at her best friend, and she knew.

"Jace. No! Are you kidding me? She's the girl that you've been texting me about? The student? You can't be serious right now!" Kaalia whispered back.

"Kaalia," he said miserably. "Please don't tell Su. I'm begging you. Let it run its course," he finished.

Kaalia nodded, and Nova nearly leapt out of Jace's arms when she saw her aunt. Liliana caught her, and Jace's skin at the same time. He couldn't look at her. He avoided her eyes, and Josu's.

Jace flashed back to nearly ten years ago, when they all sat at the same lunch table, Kaalia in Su's arms, both of them exhausted.

" _He's done it again. I come home from baseball practice and he's passed out drunk on our kitchen floor, Liliana sobbing, starving and cold," Josu growled._

 _Their mother had died nearly a year previously, Liliana sustaining some pretty serious burns herself. Josu had had to repeat his senior year of highschool because he was back and forth from Emory and the burn center, where his father and sister were. There was an accident that started a fire; his mother had died trying to get eight year Liliana out. Their father had been at Emory for a surgery when all this had happened, and Josu had come home from Atlanta to see that the house was nearly in cinders, his mother was dead, and his baby sister, the light of his life, was circling the drain herself._

 _He'd gotten the call from Kaalia anyway, who had planned on taking Liliana to the park- had come to see their house set ablaze._

 _Everything, and that means everything, had changed that day._

" _He's done it again. I'm going to take her away." Josu fumed. "I have to."_

* * *

Jace was unsure how he hadn't put two and two together at this point. He had been so utterly enamored with her that nothing else had mattered, but this seemed like another hurdle that was telling them not to do this.

But then their eyes met. They met, and in that moment, Jace felt the fight leave his body. He wasn't sure of anything, nothing actually, but he felt every ounce of fight leave him. Whatever would be, would be.

Josu watched this exchange. He knew Liliana, he knew Jace, and he knew Kaalia. And because of this, Josu knew. Funnily enough, his body relaxed. He knew that regardless of circumstances-Jace was good. If nothing else, Jace Beleren was a good man. So with Nova, they all squished into one booth. Jace nor Liliana had spoken to each other, not even a wave, which in and of itself was unnatural.

Liliana ordered a coke, the adults ordered drinks, and everyone acted like Nova was the only person at the table. Josu caught eye contact with his friend, someone he'd known for the better part of ten years, someone that was a groomsman in his wedding, and nodded. Jace felt his stomach drop, sure that everything was going to fall apart right now, that he was going to cause a rift between Liliana and Josu, that he was going to lose his friends, that it was all going to come crashing down.

"So," Josu said through a mouthful of bread. "How did you two meet?"

Liliana looked scared and shocked. She knew that there was no good in lying to Josu, she could never get away with it. She was wedged next to Jace in this booth, Josu staring at her, expecting an answer. But then something she didn't expect happen, something that not even Jace expected, he didn't know that he was going to do it until he did. Under the table, he laced his fingers through hers.

"Um, Tinder?" Liliana said, Jace, though poised to go with it, saw Josu's reaction.

"Try again," and Liliana turned her head toward Jace. "And you know not to lie to me, Liliana Claire."

"Office hours-" Jace said. There was no point in hiding it anymore.


End file.
